Kid Humor

A quiet little girl came up to me in science class today, as we're finishing up our final projects on the rock cycle, and says:

Little Girl: What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson about the rock he found?

Me: I don't know. What?

Little Girl: Sedimentary, my dear Watson!

Old Joke Put to Good Use

Wanna know what I did today at work?

I blew my nose.

Because I have a cold, and my nose was suuuuuuper stuffy.

But my classroom microphone was still on...

And students were taking the practice test for state testing.

And they had NO idea if they should laugh, puke, groan or stay quiet since we were testing.

So , of course, I apologized.

And said, "Sorry kids. I thought my mic was off."

"But it's snot!"

Bless You

Today, my class and I walked past Mrs. Hernandez,  a mother who was a pebble in my shoe all year last year. Our 4th grade team never did anything right in her eyes. Of course once she got her kid's state test scores and saw, despite our perceived ineptitude, that her kid made great progress, we suddenly became her "favorite teachers of all time." 

Puke.

So when she threw a big hello my way, followed up by a "I really miss having you as my daughter's teacher," I steeled myself to fake an enthusiastic greeting. (Not my strongest area.)

But I was saved by a most unexpected hero. 

Just as little Ricardo was passing by her in line, he sneezed a great big, wet, uncovered and highly unexpected sneeze 

...all over the front of her. 

Bless you, Ricardo. Bless you!

(It wasn't my sneeze, but I'm taking it as a personal victory.)

Tender Moments

I have a sizable bruise on my arm right now. (I banged into a door handle and bruise like a peach.)

And here is the conversation the next day:

Kid: What's that? (Pokes my bruise)

Me: A bruise. And ouch!

Kid: Oh. I thought it was a tattoo.

Me: A tattoo? Of a bruise?

Kid:  You never know nowadays, Mrs. Lee. You never know.